Thursday, August 07, 2014

'When I have kids, things I will teach my Daughter...'

  1. The most beautiful thing you can do is smile.
  2. Embrace whatever genre of music you enjoy listening to. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s “not music.”
  3. But just know there will never be a better song than “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins.
  4. It’s ok to think another woman is beautiful.
  5. Don’t be catty to other women. You’ll need them when we all overthrow the world together.
  6. Don’t let any man convince you that he is powerful enough to change you.
  7. Even if he bought you dinner, you owe him nothing. 
  8. The amount of pride you feel when you look good in your bikini for 20 minutes is far less than the happiness Taco Bell can bring you. I promise.
  9. Develop a lust to see the world around you.
  10. It’s ok if you don’t want to play princess or put on makeup.
  11. But it’s ok if you do, too.
  12. But at least try rugby once for me.
  13. Make sure your life is actually as fun as your Instagram profile makes it out to be.
  14. Don’t smile if you don’t mean it.
  15. You really don’t need another girl to go to the bathroom with you.
  16. Be blind to gender, race, sexuality and religious beliefs.
  17. People are people.
  18. There are few things in life that candles and Fleetwood Mac can’t fix.
  19. Don’t let any man whistle at you on the street and get away with it.
  20. If you can’t wear sweatpants and be beer bloated around them, they aren’t really your friends.
  21. Find friends who are ok with holding your hair back.
  22. Be there to hold theirs too.
  23. Never let a location be your excuse.
  24. You can be the best from wherever you are.
  25. Develop a voice, and make it loud.
  26. Your success is not my success. It’s your and yours alone.
  27. Even if you’re tall, wear the damn heels.
  28. I would really like it if you read Jane Eyre.
  29. But if you end up liking Twilight that’s cool too.
  30. No Fifty Shade of Grey, though.
  31. That sh*t is terrible.
  32. Please, watch FRIENDS. 
  33. Just because the bottom of her shoe is red, that doesn’t make her better than you.
  34. At least consider joining the Peace Corps.
  35. Go antique shopping.
  36. Keep the ticket stubs.
  37. Always wash your face before you go to bed.
  38. You don’t need to bathe yourself in perfume.
  39. Go swimming with your clothes on.
  40. Go swimming with no clothes on.
  41. A juice cleanse is never, and never will be, a good idea.
  42. You’re obligated to watch The Lion King with me at least five times in your life.
  43. Believe in guardian angels.
  44. Make wishes on fallen eyelashes.
  45. Be passionate.
  46. Be overly passionate.
  47. Be so passionate that people think you might be a little insane.
  48. Feminists aren’t scary.
  49. Learn to play the game Spoons.
  50. And Euchre.
  51. Don’t stretch yourself too thin.
  52. Never shrink yourself.
  53. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s a phase if you don’t think it is.
  54. Your sexuality does not define your morality.
  55. Go to a music festival at least once.
  56. Don’t dress the way fashion editors tell you to dress, dress the way they dress.
  57. If your job or your success emasculates him, he isn’t worth it.
  58. Find a man who has more balls than you do.
  59. Or woman.
  60. If a guy talks to you in clichés, run.
  61. Your value does not come from your appearance, age or size.
  62. It never will.
  63. High school is not the best time of your life.
  64. College is.
  65. The question “what are you thinking?” will work wonders.
  66. Dance like a maniac in your room with your headphones in.
  67. I won’t laugh.
  68. Meet someone who makes you laugh so hard you pee.
  69. Hold onto them forever.
  70. Go barefoot.
  71. Don’t be naïve.
  72. Sometimes being classy is overrated.
  73. Keep your head up.
  74. Believe in magic.
  75. Don’t regret the times you feel sad. How else will you appreciate the times you feel good?
  76. Everything in moderation.
  77. Even moderation.
  78. Coffee is good for your soul.
  79. Be unapologetically honest.
  80. Connect to music on a level deeper than even you understand.
  81. Wake up early.
  82. Find a good gay best friend.
  83. He’ll let you sleep in his bed and borrow his eyeliner.
  84. Don’t let anyone push you around.
  85. Surround yourself with colorful, beautiful people.
  86. Remember that not everyone will think like you.
  87. Never pass up an experience in favor of sleep.
  88. The painful truth is always easier than a messy lie.
  89. Drink champagne and dance on the table.
  90. Make a Bucket List.
  91. Make a Nectar List.
  92. Always say I love you before you leave.
  93. Never ignore what’s in front of you in favor of taking a photograph.
  94. Learn how to successfully get to the front row of concerts.
  95. Go camping without worrying about how dirty your hair will get.
  96. Learn to love the way you laugh.
  97. Laugh often.
  98. Be cheesy.
  99. When you feel a good moment, absorb it.
  100. Find beauty in everything.
  101. Don’t let fear hold you back from anything.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

7 Difficulties Friends and Family Have With Your Film Job... Jerks.

The freelance lifestyle is a tough sell to your friends and family who are used to traditional types of jobs. You know, the kind of jobs where you wear a suit and tie, shave every morning, smile at the boss, and, well, earn a steady paycheck. To them, freelancing is the complete antithesis of that.

But to you, freelance filmmaking is full of opportunity to change your office each morning, work with different people, and arrive on set ready for a brand new experience everyday.
Spouses, best friends, parents — they all have their opinion on your job. Though they want the best for you and for you to be happy, but there are still obstacles in the way of their complete acceptance.

1. You Work Long Hours

The 8-hour work day and 40-hour work week is how most people envision a full-time job. So when they hear of 12 hour days and often 60+ hour weeks, it boggles their mind that someone is able, let alone willing, to work that much time.
Unless you work solely on higher-end commercial or industrial gigs, then one frustration for friends and family is you aren’t home as often as they’d like. When you factor in travel time, it’s not unusual to be gone for 14 hours of the day and spend the rest of the time sleeping (with a quick shower thrown in — maybe).  It’s an unusual schedule for those who have never experienced it, especially when, to you, a 12-hour day can feel faster than 8-hours of sitting in an office.
I remember halfway through most of my shows when staying at my parents place...my mother remarking she hadn’t seen me for three days because all I did was come home and sleep. I could tell she was frustrated, but there wasn’t much I could do — the days were long, the commute longer, and when I came home, I was simply too exhausted to do anything else but collapse on my bed.

2. You Spend Too Much Time Traveling

When you’re working long hours and on location, it’s the one-two punch to your loved ones. Not only are you working the entire time, but you’re not even close enough to grab a bite to eat with.
And with those long hours, even fitting in a short phone call can be difficult.
Feature films are particularly notorious for pulling you away from your social life. When I was in Las Vegas for a month and a half on a feature, I lost touch with many of my friends simply because I was incredibly busy and so distanced from the social scene in my hometown.  As a result, when I finally came home, a lot of people were disappointed that they hadn’t seen or talked to me in a long time.

3. Your Income is Sporadic

The hardest part of living in the freelance world is living in the freelance world. Simply being alive costs money: bills, food, drinks, medicine, cars… you need cash to take care of those things.
With freelancing, every day, week, and month can be shaky in terms of income. There are some months you make more money than you had hoped for and some where you make barely enough to scrape by. The income is nowhere near as dependable as many would like.
The idea is that every year you increase your income just a little bit by making more contacts, finding more work, and establishing a professional presence, but in the early days, things are tough.
And if you have friends who want you to spend money to go out, a boyfriend or girlfriend to buy gifts or dinners for, and a family to take care of, they may get frustrated at the fact you’re always operating on a budget.  Your ability to be fiscally flexible is limited by the fact that you never know for sure when you’ll get paid next — and let’s not even get started on working for free.

4. You Get a Lot of Job Leads… But Not as Many Jobs

It’s not unusual, at any one point, to be juggling multiple projects looming on the horizon. But like an amateur juggler at the end of his trick, you don’t always catch the balls as they come down.
I remember talking to my parents one time when they asked what shoots I had coming up. I told them about four projects I was loosely attached to and they were excited for me.
CUT TO: A FEW WEEKS LATER
They asked me again and, well, all of them had been scrapped. Two were delayed for funding issues, one was permanently delayed while the director was in the hospital, and the fourth just sort of fell off the radar.  They were very disappointed, as was I, but my expectations weren’t as high as theirs because of one of the first lessons a camera assistant taught me:  “It’s never guaranteed until you step on set,” he said, “and even then, it’s not really a sure thing.”  It’s hard for friends and family after awhile when they hear you talking about so many projects and don’t see you working on as many. The carousel of the film world is strangely foreign to them.

5. Your Schedule is Always Changing

Part of the draw to working freelance is the flexibility of it all. There’s no overhead for your employment because you determine when, where, and what you will work on.
At least that’s the idea.  But what tends to happen is the flexibility of freelance becomes a burden. Jobs will rise as quick as air bubbles in water and just as soon pop when they get close to surfacing.  Since film jobs are so undependable, your schedule is subject to those last-minute changes. Having a hard schedule where you can build in firm free time is simply an unrealistic expectation — and a frustrating fact for your friends and family.
Have you ever tried to plan an event where everyone RSVP’s with a “maybe?”
You quickly find yourself planning mini-vacations and trips around the holes in your schedule instead of scheduling gigs around the trips you wish to take. You also find yourself missing important dates — anniversaries, birthdays, weddings — because you’re on location or committed to a shoot.

6. Your Job is Easy to Misunderstand

Whenever somebody asks me what I do and I reply with, “I’m a camera assistant,” I always feel the need to follow-up with an explanation.
“Well, I’m in charge of…”
Many of the crew positions on film sets are misunderstood by those outside the industry, except for key ones like director, cameraman, etc.  These misunderstandings create tension with those loved ones who think, because you have “assistant” in your job title or because “grip” sounds too brute-like, that what you do is not important.  They don’t understand a camera assistant is actually a highly valued technical job that demands a specific skillset and millions of people across the world make a decent and fair living off below-the-line crew positions.  These are the same type of people who, though they don’t say it, are thinking you need to get a “real job,” you know, a job that matters. Which brings me to the last point…

7. Your “Reel” Job is Not a “Real” Job

Let’s get it out of the way:
They’re right. Your job is not a real job.
- Your job is not a real job if you define real jobs as one that requires a university-level education.
- Your job is not a real job if you define real jobs as one where you have a micromanaging boss.
- Your job is not a real job if you define real jobs as one where you don a suit, grab a briefcase, and get to the office by 9.  But that doesn’t mean your job isn’t a real job with real responsibilities and commitments. And, in time, can result in real money.  Friends and family struggle because your job doesn’t fit the paradigm they expect it to, but the career landscape is shifting and freelancing is an ever more popular pathway, especially in creative arts.
The reality is, if you haven’t already, you may have to quit a “real” job for your “reel” job or work both at the same time.  It takes a certain level of understanding, however, for friends and family to grasp the concept that your office changes everyday, that your hours aren’t consistent — as well as your paycheck — and that your boss is both a partner and a superior.  In no way is a film job a “real” job, but that’s part of the gig — even if it means some frustration for loved ones.

 - FIN -

Monday, December 30, 2013

20 Things To Let Go Of Before The New Year

How much stress are you carrying around? Do you feel burdened by life’s circumstances and emotional issues? Becoming more grounded and happy starts with letting go of worry and stress. I learned this is my own journey, through overcoming drug additions, healing myself from depression, and walking away from a careers that are toxic to follow my heart and become successful in everything I do. In the process, I had to let go of a lot of things to become the person I am today. Physically, spiritually and emotionally, I had to learn how to let go of the person I thought I should be in order to be the person I really wanted to be. Letting go of anything in life can be a little scary, but it can also be an amazing act of self-love. Letting go of my worries and stress made a difference for me; of course I still dip in and out of some of my stress jar from time to time, but I’ve found this list a good reminder of what I need to strive for each day in order to reach unlimited happiness.  

Here are 20 things to let go of in order to reach unlimited happiness... 

1. Let go of all thoughts that don't make you feel empowered and strong. 
2. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.
3. Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.
4. Let go of regrets; at one point in your life, that 'whatever' was exactly what you wanted. 
5. Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don’t want. 
6. Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life. If you don’t like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it. 
7. Let go of thinking you are damaged; you matter, and the world needs you just as you are. 
8. Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart. 
9. Let go of being the 'go-to person' for everyone, all the time; stop blowing yourself off and take care of yourself first … because you matter. 
10. Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you. 
11. Let go of thinking there's a right and wrong way to do things or to see the world. Enjoy the contrast and celebrate the diversity and richness of life. 
12. Let go of cheating on your future with your past. It’s time to move on and tell a new story. 
13. Let go of thinking you are not where you should be. You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go. 
14. Let go of anger toward ex lovers and family. We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesn’t mean the love was wrong. 
15. Let go of the need to do more and be more; for today, you've done the best you can, and that's enough. 
16. Let go of thinking you have to know how to make it happen; we learn the way on the way. 
17. Let go of your money woes — make a plan to pay off debt and focus on your abundance. 
18. Let go of trying to save or change people. Everyone has her own path, and the best thing you can do is work on yourself and stop focusing on others. 
19. Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding. 
20. Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

How to live like a champion....

“One decision can develop into a habit, and the habits you form create your reality. Here are 10 choices that carry significant weight. Learn to be conscious of the decisions you make so you can do your best to live like a champion...” 1. Wearing a mask to impress others. If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections. 2. Letting someone else create your dreams for you. The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find. A big part of this is your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Do you have people who disagree with you? Good. It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path. Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing. Read The 4-Hour Workweek. 3. Keeping negative company. Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. Don’t let them get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun. When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety. 4. Being selfish and egotistical. A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone. Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. So carve your name on hearts, not stone. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains. 5. Avoiding change and growth. If you want to know your past look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future look into your present actions. You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back. If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success. See the book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. 6. Giving up when the going gets tough. There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. Learn what you can and move on. The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end. Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory. It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph. 7. Trying to micromanage every little thing. Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots. 8. Settling for less than you deserve. Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before. Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again. Don’t settle. 9. Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do. But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do. And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t. Read Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture. 10. Being lazy and wishy-washy. The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something. So stop daydreaming and start DOING. Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. Take full responsibility for your life – take control. You are important and you are needed. It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

10 Words you've prolly been misusing...

There are so many words in the English language that it’s not surprising that the definitions for some of them have gotten mixed up over the years. It’s possible that you’ve gone your entire life without realizing your mistakes. I’m sure people have noticed. One day, you were probably walking down the street, casually chatting with an old friend, and one of these words slipped out of your mouth. Before you can move on to your story about how Mufasa would actually make a very attractive human, your friend stops to correct your error, and suddenly, your whole life starts to feel like one giant lie. How long have you been using that word incorrectly, you wonder? How many angry Facebook rants have you ruined with your improper grammar? While I can’t give you an answer to those questions, I can at least provide you with a list of other tricky words so that you may never have to suffer from this embarrassment ever again: 1) Travesty What you may think it means: a tragedy, an unfortunate event What it actually means: a mockery; a parody This one, I’ll admit, is my own personal error. For the longest time, I equated travesty with tragedy, mostly because in passing, they sound like the same word. It’s stupid, I know, but if you knew how many times I confused fetal position with beetle position, you wouldn’t be laughing. It’s a serious problem. 2) Ironic What you may think it means: a funny coincidence What it actually means: contrary to what you might expect It’s not ironic that you bumped into a talking turtle in a sweater vest right after you told your friend how cool it would be to bump into a talking turtle in a sweater vest. It’s a coincidence, and believe it or not, those two words are not related. Also, you should probably lay off the drugs because I’m pretty sure animals shouldn’t be talking. 3) Peruse What you may think it means: to skim or glance over something What it actually means: to review something carefully/in-depth How this definition got completely turned on its head, I’ll never know, but I’ll be sure never to say “I’m going to go peruse my math textbook” ever again, just in case someone overhears and tries to hold me to it under the real meaning. 4) Bemused What you may think it means: amused What it actually means: confused Again, with the whole “words sounding alike” issue. I’m starting to think I just need hearing aids. This is getting out of hand. 5) Compelled What you may think it means: to willingly do something, to feel like you need to do something What it actually means: to be forced to do something (willingly or unwillingly) The word you’re looking for is “impelled.” I agree, it doesn’t get enough attention. 6) Nauseous What you may think it means: to feel sick What it actually means: to cause nausea When you eat too much ice cream and declare to your mom or the nearest adult, “I feel nauseous,” what you’re actually saying is that you are causing people around you to feel sick. Thanks, jerk. (For the record, “I’m nauseated” is the way to go.) 7) Conversate What you may think it means: to hold a conversation What it actually means: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING This word is a mix of conversation and converse, and doesn’t actually exist, like unicorns or YOUR DREAMS. (I’m kidding. Unicorns are totally real.) 8) Redundant What you may think it means: repetitive What it actually means: superfluous, able to be cut out “Including this sentence is redundant because you already mentioned your love of Santa Claus in the previous paragraph.” This has always been my exposure to the word redundant, so it only makes sense that I would think repetitive was correct. I can’t be the only one? Right? RIGHT? 9) Enormity What you may think it means: enormousness What it actually means: extreme evil I don’t know where the “extreme evil” thing came from (probably the Devil) but enormity makes more sense as enormousness in my mind. 10) Terrific What you may think it means: awesome, fantastic What it actually means: causing terror Okay, so “causing terror” is more of an outdated definition but I still thought it was interesting. Maybe keep this fun fact in the back of your mind the next time you call your favorite camper, “Terrific Tommy,” because technically, a few decades ago, that might have been an insult. Unless instead of a camper, he’s a serial killer. In that case, go for it.

Monday, January 07, 2013

Shortened Season Could Help Detroit Red Wings Rediscover Their Old Playoff Magic

Finally, the NHL lockout has come to its conclusion and a 48 game hockey season is expected to begin before the end of January, providing hardcore hockey watchers with some much-needed relief. This also means the Detroit Red Wings will have a chance to repeat some semi-recent history. During the 1994-95 season shortened by a similar lockout, which resumed on January 20 1995, Detroit was able to ride early momentum to a 33-11 finish. That was good for the best record in the league, and the Red Wings coasted through the playoffs until they ran into another lockout-driven buzz saw in the Stanley Cup finals. In a shortened season, things can always go either way. There’s a low margin of error with regards to injuries, inconsistencies and coaching, but there’s also more time for veterans to be fresher for the Stanley Cup playoffs. Sometimes, all teams have to do is find a way into the playoffs to be successful. The New Jersey Devils, champions in 1995, proved that as the fifth seed, getting hot during the playoffs and stymieing the higher seeded Boston Bruins, Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers before beating the Red Wings. It makes for an excellent case study for 2013. This veterans Red Wings’ roster, in transition more than ever, could conceivably get hot at the right time and might find more success in the playoffs as a result of this lockout. For the past three seasons, the Red Wings have looked completely burned out by the time April rolls around having already peaked, and it’s hurt their playoff performance. All the familiar buzzwords have been tossed around in the postmortem, such as old, tired and washed up. With half a schedule already gone, the Red Wings might be able to hit their recent February peaks come May and June should they find a way into the playoffs. The players who have been playing in Europe will already be fresh, and defensively, the skaters on the back end will be improving by the week. As always, those players are who decides what teams win in the playoffs, along with board battles and one-on-one competition. The fresher, younger teams have been winning those contests recently. Though they might be in transition, the Red Wings could still resemble such a team given the timing of everything that’s happened. Thus, don’t write off the Red Wings immediately when play begins due to the traditional variables. They’ll have a chance to make their usual amounts of noise during the regular season provided they can remain consistent. The playoffs is where their biggest boost might be seen, given their overall freshness and the fact that bodies won’t be quite as worn down. Psychologically, that could become the biggest advantage for Detroit. Suddenly, nobody’s old or tired anymore. It will become a battle of will In situations like this, throw any of the traditional favorites out the window. Nobody knows anything coming out of a lockout, except that the first two months will be reserved for teams to find their way. After settling in, then, experience should begin to take over. The Red Wings certainly aren’t lacking much in that department, making the lockout something which might not hamper them as much as it could aid in a turnaround. So, regardless of your feelings about Gary Bettman, Donald Fehr or the NHLPA, prepare yourself for the most unique regular season and playoffs to be seen since 1995. This year, up is down, white is black and right is left. Someone you might never expect could end up hoisting the Stanley Cup come late June. As the Red Wings are concerned, old might become new again.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

...my new year wish for you all...

My wish for you all...'I want your coming year be filled with magic and dreams, and when you dream, you'll dream dangerously & outrageously. You'll make something that didn't exist before you made it. That you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. That you kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful...and lastly, make some mistakes...because if you're making mistakes, then you're making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world...you're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something...' All the best now and forever... With love, M-